Crush Your Fear of Failure
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What would your life be like if it wasn’t run by fear? You would be free! The Fear to Freedom series will crush the three most prominent fears that are imprisoning readers: the fear of failure, being alone, and not reaching your full potential. We will conquer the fears that keep you up at night and rob you of the peace that you deserve.
This will be the year your mind works for you, not against you! If you aren’t ready to take a leap of faith, take a step. Fear feeds on inaction!
Part I: Overcome Your Fear of Failure
Embrace Your Humanity
“Constant effort and frequent mistakes are the stepping stones to genius.” -Elbert Hubbard
If you aren’t making mistakes you aren’t living! Consider this, if experience is the best of teachers, isn’t life the best teacher of all? Do not discount the lessons you learn from your missteps. Use them to drive you forward.
One main issue of my clients who are stuck is that they continue to make the same mistakes. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing (or repeating the same mistakes) again and again and expecting a different result. The secret to success is to stop making the same mistakes. Each day, simply do better.
To start, use this exercise for at least thirty days straight.
Step 1: At the end of the day review the day’s events honestly and without emotion.
Step 2: Pick out your “favorite mistake of the day”.
Step 3: Write down what you learned from it and what you will change tomorrow after learning this lesson.
When you allow your mistakes to serve a purpose instead of letting them shame you, your entire life will change.
Crush Self Doubt
“The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.” – Unknown
The advice “fake it until you make it” is widely popular. In fact, most people start their day with two things. 1. Neurotic self defeating thoughts and 2. Their fake confidence muscles flexed. I have good news; there is a better way!
Social psychologist, Amy Cuddy tweaked the fake it until you make it adage to “fake it until you become it”. This tweak is a game changer! To become naturally confident she suggests practicing power poses for at least two minutes a day.
Changing your body language changes the levels of testosterone and cortisol levels in the body. The result is increased confidence and reduced stress. Practice this exercise prior to important meetings, meeting new clients, and before any other activity where you question your abilities. The benefit of this exercise is twofold. Improving your body language affects how people perceive you and how you feel about yourself. Arrive to every opportunity with the confidence that you are meant to be there!
To learn more about the relationship of body language and success and for power pose examples check out: http://blog.ted.com/2013/12/13/fake-it-til-you-become-it-amy-cuddys-power-poses-visualized/.
Welcome and Befriend Fear
“I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” ― Frank Herbert
How much time and energy have you spent avoiding fear? Relationships and opportunities are constantly given up because we are afraid to fail. Most of us arrange people, events, and opportunities in our lives in a way to avoid fear. While doing so, we miss life.
Personal growth comes when you make peace with fear. True and everlasting freedom comes when you befriend it. Use the steps below every time you are faced with your familiar nemesis turned friend. When fear is no longer seen as a problem, you are free!
Step 1: Break your tendency to self preserve. It is easy to find a false sense of security in the boundaries you build around your life. This is a trap. When you protect yourself from fear you are allowing it to run your life. Stop the moment you feel yourself closing or running away and stand confident in the present moment.
Step 2: Keep perspective. The truth is, fear is just a feeling. You are stronger than any feeling!
Step 3: Identify, relax and release. Be self-aware. When you starting feeling disturbed energy (heart pumping, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, etc) simply identify that you are afraid. Then, relax your breath, muscles and heart. Go deep inside yourself until you are face to face with the fear. Stare at it and don’t back down. Continue to relax as much as possible and release the fear. Allow it to pass through you. Every time you relax and release a little bit of fear leaves you forever.*
*Note: This step is difficult especially if you have anxiety issues. Try this step on a small scale and then use it for more prominent fears when you get comfortable with the process.
If you like this post, stay tuned for Fear to Freedom Part II. For more exclusive inspiration and purposeful action steps, join our Facebook page here and subscribe for our weekly tips!